Drag racing on a bike: traffic light GP test

In a very funny article, the guys from Visor Down take a look at the best bikes for traffic light GP drag racing.
The bikes tested out were the Kawasaki ZZR1400, the Honda Fireblade, the Triumph Rocket III, the Suzuki B-King and the Triumph Street Triple.
In what is an usual road test, the bikes were matched to different guys in the testing team, based on experience levels, in the following list:Steve Venables: the best drag racer in the UK.

Proper, proper quick off the lights.
Simon Bowen: Old hand at riding anything, quicker than he looks.
And older.
John Hogan: Reasonably experienced, though not as quick as his boots suggest.
Ben Cope: Internet legend who would race the wind if nobody else was about.
Luke Williams: Only a year road-riding, so by far the least experienced of the lot.
You’ll have to read the full article to get the low-down, but in some fun, the Kawasaki ZZR1400 is best suited to “ageing hooligans”, the Honda Fireblade is for “rich weekenders” and the Triumph Rocket III matches “very fat people”.

The Suzuki B-King is for “fast blind people” (the absolute daddy at launching due to its straight-line power, apparently), while the Triumph Street Triple is for “the smart rider”.
Read the article on Visordown for the best bikes for launching, and why.