Giving teenagers responsibilty

© C. G. P. Grey Flickr Caution: Teenagers
© C. G. P. Grey (Flickr)

Peer pressure for a teenager is at least as important as parental influence, with the need to fit in and conform to the latest fashion, or be a part of the popular crowd an all consuming desire.
Many parents will recognize the complaint that "everyone else is allowed to stay out later," So how do you negotiate with a teenager?

Choose your fights wisely
Ask yourself if it really matters if your teenager is wearing a style which looks ridiculous but which he insists is the height of fashion.

If you are attending a formal occasion, you may have to stand your ground as the dress may be inappropriate, but for an evening with friends, relax and let them have the pleasure of dressing just the way they want. Most family photograph albums will reveal mum and dad in high fashion outfits that were despaired of by their parents.

Set Realistic Curfews
Negotiate with your teenager to set a realistic time for them to be home.

This can vary depending on the night of the week and where they are going. They will be safer walking home as a group than half an hour earlier alone. Ask them why they need to stay until a particular time and listen to their answer. The film may not finish until later, or another parent may be picking up a group at that time. If you allow them some leeway when there is a valid reason they will be more likely to respond well when limits cannot be changed.

Help Them Grow up
Allow your offspring to make informed decisions by suggesting to you what time they should be home, what is appropriate wear, or what time they should be in bed. When they come up with their own solution, listen, compromise a little if you need to and before you know it your teenager will start behaving like a mature adult rather than a sulky adolescent.